once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
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