what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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