he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
