I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
