Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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