Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
