I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
