she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Randomize