she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
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