is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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