No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
