People with herpes should wear stickers.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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