Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Randomize
