i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
