I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
