i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
