You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
