that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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