i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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