You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize