i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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