My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
