Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize