i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
