where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
