Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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