I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
