normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
My dad is sitting where you rode me
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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