I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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