Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
