thus making me awesome and them whores
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
