I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Cover your peen. We're going out.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
