This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
