Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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