That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
