i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Michael Bay diarrhea
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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