It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
