I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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