coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
