while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
its liver damage thursday
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
