I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Are my feet made of real feet?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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