And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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