ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
