I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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