Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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