Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
