dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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