please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Randomize
