Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
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