I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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