So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Are we still banned from the library?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
