Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
