Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
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