I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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