btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
