I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
if only i could text you this smell
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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