one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Randomize
