Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
