yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
