time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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