I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
