I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Randomize
