im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize