Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
