In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
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