im having a threesome with these popsicles
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
