Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
