I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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