Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize