Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
