There is no way he is gay with that hair.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
