Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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