Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
