New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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