is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
