words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
