I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
You may now shotgun with the bride
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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