I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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