i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Acid is not a monday night drug
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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