Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
