I want to walk on stilts...naked
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Don't EVER smell your tampon
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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