OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
