Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
